My in-laws were Catholic. So picture our big family at my mother-in-law’s funeral mass and my sister-in-law is recounting the story of a time my MIL fell trying to head to the bathroom at night. She was wearing red satin pajamas. Their bedroom floor was a slick laminate wood. Satin and laminate are NOT made for gaining traction in the middle of the night.
Mind you, she was not hurt. Her legs had just given out on her as they tend to do as our parents get older and more frail and weak.
Linda, my MIL, was a larger than life character. I don’t mean her size. I am referring to her loud, boisterous voice and personality. Her home was always open. Her arms were always ready for a big hug (and maybe a wet kiss, if you weren’t careful!) She was a favorite with the school kids because she was one of those science teachers that makes you love class. Even if you don’t love science. (If you’ve got an amazing mother-in-law, check out this great mother’s day/birthday/Christmas gift that will touch her heart!) Click here.
They called her other son to assist, but as hard as they tried, they could only succeed in spinning her around as though she were sitting on a sit and spin. They were all laughing that night. Listening to the story again at the funeral, had us all chuckling as we remembered all the crazy times when things went wrong but we just gave up and laughed. Eventually, they managed to hoist her slick butt off the floor and onto the edge of the bed and beyond a few bruises the next day – all was right again.
Another time after Linda had passed, I was helping my FIL, Sam up the ramp at his home. I was right behind him, but his weak knees just buckled and down he went – in slow motion. Although I couldn’t stop it from happening, I could assist so that he didn’t get hurt. He was on his knees for a bit and then, when he decided he couldn’t help me lift himself up, he just gave up and laid down on the ramp.
My husband would be there soon and could help, so I wasn’t worried. As he lay there on the ramp, face up, we joked about just getting a pillow and blanket and camping outside under the stars since it was such a pretty evening.
Soon hubby drove up and seeing me standing over his dad on the ramp, just began shaking his head. Here we go again, right? Of course we were able to get him back upright and into the house. Sam wasn’t even scratched up or bruised – although that happened plenty other times! He even felt good enough to eat a piece of pie and would always tell us he only liked two kinds of pie – hot and cold. 🙂
Life happens. It’s something we discussed with his siblings often. We all understood that at their age and with their lack of strength, falls were inevitable. We could just make sure they had their walkers handy and then do our best to keep them upright!
The walker that worked best was this one with the seat. If they could tell they were getting weak, they could sit down for a bit. I’m sure it’s not recommended by the manufacturers, but we’ve been known to push them in it like a wheelchair when all else failed. Haha.
Communication between the kids was key since some were local and others were hours away. Everyone needed to understand the risks and recognize that even while being right next to them, sometimes their legs would give out and gravity would triumph. But we were all in agreement that we wanted to keep him at home as long as we could.
Being a lifetime farmer, leaving the farm would break his spirit. He had to eventually move out – but that’s a story for another day.
Have you experienced any of those “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” moments with someone? What an uncomfortable feeling seeing someone go down – even if it’s in slow motion and they aren’t hurt. Having a plan for the best way to get them back up is important. Pulling a wooden chair close for them to get some leverage against can help. If they are able, have them kneel next to the chair. It is easier to get up from a kneeling position than from a prone one. Having a gait belt like they use in the nursing homes is a good idea. It can help when they are unsteady but can also be helpful if they are already down.
Of course, a second set of hands (and a strong back) is also helpful. Sad to say, but I had to call the ambulance a couple times when no one was around to assist; not because he was injured, but because I just couldn’t get him off the floor on my own. You might be interested to know, our county ambulance service charges for “pick up service” if they aren’t actually transporting them to the hospital. We were told medicare wouldn’t pay for lift assist only. But – when you need help, you need help.
We made arrangements with some of our country neighbors to be on standby in case we needed some help in the future and they were happy to be “on call”.
Of course, the patient’s safety is of the utmost importance. When it became clear Sam was a fall risk more often, adjustments had to be made with caregiving. When he and Linda were home alone we got a mobile alert button with fall detect. The one below even works when away from the house.
It’s hard to see your loved ones struggling, but being there for them is one of the greatest gifts you can give to them. (Tip of the day: Give the gift of your time and pass on the red satin PJs!)
Do you have any funny stories to share? If so, I’d love to read them in the comments below. Chat with you again soon!
